KANSAS CITY, Mo. Of course its the Colts. Had to be the Colts. Who else would it be?
Who else could it be?
The great American philosopher Ric Flair says to be the man you have to beat the man, and if he was a sports columnist in Kansas City he might say that if you want to escape your ghosts, you have to take your franchise quarterback and beat them in a playoff game.
This is destiny, the way it always should have been, a week of hyper-angst and self-loathing and jokes that you hope are jokes but may actually turn out to be truer than youre ready for.
Lin Elliott. Just say it out loud. Four syllables: LIN ELL-ee-IT. The Kicker Who Shall Not Be Named has a name, and you can either pretend he doesnt or join us in the real world, where youre going to hear his name over and over again.
Youre going to hear about The No Punt Game, too, which has a better ring to it than The Priest Holmes Fumble Game. Talk to the men involved in that game, on a beautiful Sunday 15 years ago this week, NFL postseason history because of course they did. Andrew Luck scored a touchdown by fumbling off a linemans head. Dwayne Bowe ran the wrong route at the end. The locker room might as well have been blocked off with police tape.
Three epic gut punches, each with the Chiefs on the losers end in the Colts highlight and now (of course!) the most exciting Chiefs regular season in decades is prologue to one more dance with the arch-nemesis.
The Chiefs have won two playoff games at Arrowhead Stadium in 47 years, and hopefully youre in the mood for some dark humor: The Colts have won the same number.
I know with the history and stuff like that, but at the same time, we are a different generation, Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes said.
The man who can change it all said those words before he even knew it would be the Colts. Though maybe just maybe he had a hunch. And not just because the Colts had a good matchup against the Texans, who had a 2013 Chiefs stench to them all along good record but lots of wins over tomato-can quarterbacks.
The Colts are a handful for anyone. Quarterback Andrew Luck just completed the best season of his career, behind one of the leagues best offensive lines and surrounded by impressive playmakers. The defense is stout, disciplined and stingy with big plays. Theyve won 10 of 11.
This would be a difficult matchup in any context, so the Colts being the Chiefs historical boogeyman is a gratuitous slap to the face.
The setup means a weeklong roast of Chiefs fans, which means you have two choices:
1. Fetal position, brainstorming all the brutal possibilities.
2. Open arms, choosing logic over narrative, knowing that even if say it loud, you cowards! Lindley Franklin Elliott Jr. made all three of those kicks 22 years ago it would not have a lick of impact this week.
