If my mother were alive, she’d “tsk, tsk” at the small pile of Christmas cards accumulated in the family’s basket, decorated for such purpose. MY MOTHER knew friendships are gifts that keep on giving. And that overflowing Christmas card basket was proof positive her investment of time and self in others was appreciated. — Susan Lynn
“If you don’t give, you won’t receive,” she’d say.
Truth is, my circle of close acquaintances is a fraction of hers and it’s this time of year that highlights this rather embarrassing fact.
Mother was a consummate communicator. It was a rare road trip that we didn’t “pop in” to visit some distant relative or old friend. She was big on family reunions — no matter the branch.
For all of her life she kept in touch with schoolmates from Australia as well as close friends from when we lived in Texas. She would think nothing of writing long letters on a frequent basis. I knew a phone conversation with June Heard from Bowie, Texas, would be an hour or so.
Locally, her circle of friends came from church, bridge club, reading club, and a regular habit of inviting newcomers for dinner. As an outsider, she remembered how long it took to feel Iola was home and went out of her way to roll out the welcome mat.
She also made many friends through my dad’s activities and looked forward to being with them at events.
For Christmas she would write the family letter, including multiple photos. She was ecstatic when technology advanced so she could make her own newsletter in a facsimile of a newspaper.
As a kid, I loved going through all the beautiful Christmas cards my parents received, but found the lengthy newsletters boring.
TODAY, of course I craft a newsletter, bypassing Hallmark altogether. It’s the only way I can keep friends and family up to date. But as I flip through my address book I realize how I’ve fallen out of touch with once good friends.
And though my list of acquaintances has grown because of work, they know me in only one dimension. I must admit, I’m of half a mind to send them our Christmas letter just to imagine a “what the heck,” remark. “Honey, do you know a Susan Lynn or Brian Wolfe?”
I recently heard friendships turn over every seven years, typically from a change in your own circumstances.
The dynamics of my friendships changed when I started back to work after my children all started school. When I divorced, my social network contracted from the world of couples, but yet expanded as I discovered all the others in my shoes. And of course moving causes a whole chain of events. No matter how valiant the efforts, chances are those friendships will fall by the wayside. Doing things together is what keeps a friendship alive.
Christmas card list should be growing, not shrinking
