I have vaccine envy.
There. I’ve confessed it. The thought of getting a COVID-19 vaccine makes me impatient, greedy, needy. I yearn for a vaccine the way some people want a mansion or a Tesla or Michelle Obama’s dresses.
A friend in California emailed a couple of days ago to say she was likely to get her first dose of the vaccine on Monday.
“You?” she added.
Immediately, a little green devil popped up on my shoulder to whisper in my ear, “Yeah, what about you? Don’t you deserve a vaccine?”
Facebook, too, is lively with people announcing they just got their first shot. When my sister-in-law in Oregon posted a photo showing she’s scheduled for her second dose, the little green devil popped up again, harrumphing, “Where’s yours?”
And when a friend who works for a large Chicago medical institution got the vaccine through her employer, the little green devil pouted, “Why don’t you work somewhere like that?”
These three lucky vaccine recipients just happen to live or work in places that give them early access to the elixir we’re all waiting for — all of us, at least, who believe that vaccinations are vital to getting the pandemic under control.
Don’t misunderstand. I’m happy for my friends. I don’t begrudge anyone a vaccine. So many people need it more than I do. When I see photos of people with that needle in their arm, I feel a jolt of hope. You can want what someone else has without wanting to deprive them of it.
I don’t like this feeling, so I’ve been relieved to learn that others are afflicted.
“I can personally attest to vaccine envy,” says a friend who at the youthful age of 60 is five years too young to be eligible for the next phase of the vaccine. “For once I wish I was older.”
The problem is, there’s not enough hope-in-a-needle to go around yet, a problem compounded by the confusion over how to get in line for your eventual dose.
“Do you understand what we’re supposed to do?” a friend asked recently. She’s educated and media savvy and yet, like so many of us, she was stumped.
I gave her my best guess but the truth is, no. As far as I can tell, the plan is still in progress. This confusion exacerbates the envy. If more of us knew when we’d get a vaccine, the little green devil would settle down.
Despite my vaccine envy, I agree with a friend who emailed the other day that she doesn’t like hearing people grumble about others getting the vaccine first.
