Over the years, Ive changed a number of minds arguing politics with readers over email.
That number is zero.
Not that Im a lousy debater or am usually wrong far from it! But that, in my experience, no one ever admits defeat at the conclusion of email squabbles.
Cultural psychologists could tell us why its so rare for anyone to back down and confess ideological error. Altering your views can look and even feel like weakness. The wrong sorts of people take advantage of it.
But thats beside the point today.
The point today is that its worse than a waste of time to argue with aggressive, angry people online. Not only does it get you nowhere, but it also risks throwing more kerosene on the raging partisan fires certain to burn hotter than ever in 2020. It can make you part of the problem.
Presidential election years understandably bring out the worst in us. As the stakes increase, so does the vehemence of our rhetoric. In the last few cycles, social media and email have made our exchanges louder, more rapid and more toxic.
So heres my three-word prescription, adapted from my own New Years resolution to reduce the number of hours I spend on fruitless online wrangles to zero, the same number as above:
Ignore. The rhetorical bomb throwers with their pejoratives and profanities crave attention more than anything else. Your response _ reasonable or rash, it doesnt matter _ validates them. Deny them that and ruin their day.
Delete. Its not strictly necessary to consign unpleasant messages to the trash folder archiving them serves the same practical purpose but quick deletion is a cleansing ritual, a symbolic spitting out of the poison that makes it difficult for you to give in to the undeniable temptation to counterpunch.
When attacks appear in your social media feeds, delete them from the thread and then …
Block. Build that wall. Unfriend, mute or otherwise erect an electronic barrier against snide provocateurs who are trying to yank your chain. Autodirect all further correspondence from them to your spam folder. Use the mute feature on Twitter if youd like the additional satisfaction of imagining them continuing to holler at you into a void. One strike and theyre out.
Ignore. Delete. Block.
Make these your watchwords of the year ahead.
But at the same time, dont stop listening. Dont mistake all expressions of disagreement with trollery and retreat into a comforting silo where only like-minded people cluster in orgies of self-congratulation.
