For most parents, sending their children to public school is a given. The idea of walking their kid to their first day of kindergarten and perhaps shedding a tear is just another part of the American Dream. THERE are many reasons why a parent may choose to educate his own children. Six years ago, Bahnsen had two children going to Crest, but she quickly found one of her sons getting frustrated with the system. PHELAN also had concerns with bullying and peer pressure. When her daughter, Lily, was in second grade, she told her mother her legs were too fat. PHELAN said homeschooling has provided her and her children with opportunities they otherwise would not have had. She and her daughter have been doing volunteer work with USDA commodities, which supplements food stamps for people who are struggling financially. This has helped her daughter learn how to interact with adults and people from all walks of life, which has helped her become more mature. WHILE homeschooling provides many opportunities, it has its drawbacks.
But there is a difference between dreams and reality, and for some people, the idea of public school was better than the reality of it.
“Never in my life did I think I would be homeschooling, but now I can’t imagine going back,” said Aimee Bahnsen, Kincaid. “For us, it was the best decision.”
Bahnsen is one of a growing number of people across the country who decided to use homeschooling as an alternative. The U.S. Department of Education reports more children are being homeschooled than ever before. Between 1999 and 2007, the number of children being educated at home grew from 850,000 to 1.5 million. In 2013, it grew by another 300,000.
The decision to educate her children at home was not an easy one. Bahnsen said she had a lot of doubts at first, particularly over whether she would be good enough for the task of educating them as an academic. Math, for example, is not one of her strong suits.
One thing she discovered was that it was OK to learn alongside her children.
“I want them to know it’s OK if you don’t know the answer. You need to figure out how to get it,” she said.
Bahnsen said she enjoys teaching her children critical thinking skills and how to do research to find answers.
Another thing that helped was networking. Getting to know other area parents who homeschool has allowed Bahnsen to connect with like-minded individuals who each have their own strengths and weaknesses. Some of these families have recently joined together to form Southeast Kansas Homeschool Cooperative.
“We have 14 children from four families,” said Wendy Phelan, Iola resident and co-founder.
Phelan said one of the main goals of the co-op was to include more science in their children’s’ curriculum.
“I think science experiments work better in groups,” she said. It helps the children learn from each others’ mistakes, and it helps parents share the cost of supplies.
The co-op plans to meet every Tuesday at Iola’s Wesley United Methodist Church, beginning Sept. 16. In addition to science experiments, the children also do field trips and other activities together. The parents benefit as well, by having newfound friendships and a support network of people who can help them with any issues they might have.
“Academically, he was ahead of his class and was bored,” she said.
As Bahnsen and her husband considered their options, they found more reasons to consider homeschooling, such as bullying or peer pressure and making sure each child got enough individual attention.
Finally, she decided to pull her children out of school and take matters into her own hands.
Today, she is the main educator of her four sons; Lane, 12, Cody, 11, Owen, 8, and Wyat, 6. Her two younger sons have never been to public school. Although she is careful to make sure the children have a social life and engage in activities outside of home to make friends, her sons are “each others’ best friends.”
“They love being around each other,” she said. “It’s definitely brought them closer together.”
This bothered Phelan greatly. She had tried to monitor her daughter’s TV viewing, but she was still learning about body image issues from peers at school, and at such a young age.
Another major factor for Phelan stemmed from growing concerns over national education policies, namely the Common Core program.
In addition to standardized test scores and education standards, Common Core has also begun to engage in gathering massive amounts of data on students — and their parents. According to the Thomas More Law Center, who recently created an opt-out form to protect families from data mining, Common Core collects 400 different data points ranging from test scores to blood types. Even parents’ political and religious affiliations are collected in what is known as “data mining.”
For Phelan, who has a degree in marketing, the idea of data mining children from the beginning to end of their school careers is ethically questionable.
“I found it to be invasive,” Phelan said.
Bahnsen agreed. Although Common Core was not a factor in her decision to homeschool originally, “it reinforced our decision.”
And because Common Core is tied to federal funding, very few states refuse to adopt it. Currently, 40 states and the District of Columbia use Common Core programs, Kansas included.
Phelan and her husband, Chris, decided to pull her daughter, Lily, now 9, out of public school and educate her at home. They would keep in touch with friends, but leaving behind the teachers they loved was difficult.
“That was the hardest part, to leave. We really loved Lincoln,” Phelan said. “Chris and I are big fans of this school district. The decision was not about the school district.”
“It’s not that this never happens to public school kids, but here they have more opportunities,” Phelan said.
Bahnsen said she has also seen a dramatic difference in her oldest son, Lane.
“He was painfully shy in school,” she said.
Homeschooling, and interacting with other homeschooled children of all ages, has helped Lane and his brothers learn how to interact with people better, overall, she said. The public school environment sticks children together with their age groups, but that’s not how people interact in real life. By bucking the trend and making friends with all age groups, including adults, Lane has opened up more and learned to be a mentor for his younger brothers.
“I’ve really seen the progression,” she said.
One of the main issues Phelan saw with homeschooling was that it was not an option for many families who depend, economically, on two parents bringing home full-time paychecks.
Another fly in the ointment — the lack of free time.
“You never get away from your kids. You never get any ‘me’ time,” she said. “And everybody needs quiet time.”
They also have to deal with misconceptions from people who do not agree with homeschooling.
“My mom is not a fan of homeschooling. She thinks it’s a bad idea,” Phelan said. But her mother also respected her choice, she added.
Bahnsen agreed the homeschool method was not an easy choice, but it was worth the time and effort to see the results in her children.
“There are drawbacks, and it’s not for everyone, but I think the positives outweigh the drawbacks,” Bahnsen said.
Homeschoolers interested in learning more about the Southeast Kansas Homeschool Co-op can send messages to their private group on Facebook.
There’s no place like home(schooling)
