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The Mustang Mules stomped the competition on Monday evening at Iola High School in a fierce game of Donkey Basketball.
The home team of USD 257 teachers and staff came out on top out of four teams representing education, health care and law enforcement. The event is a fundraiser by the IHS Student Council and junior class.
Donkey Basketball pairs local “celebrity” jockeys riding real, live donkeys to compete in a fierce, feral competition. Riders are supposed to sit on their donkeys in order to pass and shoot the ball but otherwise, just about anything goes.
The donkeys were having no part of it. They kicked, bucked and trotted away.
Kansas Highway Patrol Trooper Ben Biggs, representing the Donkey 9-1-1 team with area law enforcement, found his mount lying down on the job. He tried to coax the animal upright but the donkey rolled from side to side as if to say, “No, thanks.”
Showing a true competitive spirit, Allen Community College cross country Coach Vince DeGrado refused to give up on behalf of his team, the Red Devil Donkeys. He tried to hop onto his donkey’s back again and again, no matter how many times he got bucked off. Which was almost every time. Even with a different donkey.
Law enforcement hit the first bucket and took the match, 6-3.
Next, the Mustang Mules took to the court against the Hemoglobin Trotters, a team of local health professionals almost certainly headed to the emergency room by the end of the night.
Representing the Trotters, Allen County Regional Hospital pharmacist Nich Lohman put on a show, making his way down the court uncontested for an excessively dramatic shot.
The pressure was on Iola High School’s agriculture teacher Amanda Holman, who needed a moment to reach a mutual understanding with her mount. The donkey led Holman on a leisurely walk around the gym, occasionally passing close enough to the basket to give her a chance to score.
Transportation Director Aaron Cole had a chance to earn MVP, if only he could stay on his donkey’s back long enough to take a shot. He jumped onto the donkey’s back from the left side, then slipped off the right. He tried to leap-frog from the back, then slid down the donkey’s neck and sailed over the front.
The Mules and Trotters traded baskets until the final seconds, with the home team moving on for the championship matchup against the law enforcement team.
The final score would show the Mustangs ahead by 6-0, but the jacks and jennies were the real champs. Exhausted jockeys pulled and pleaded with their stubborn mounts, then gave up and let the donkeys trot a victory lap around the gym.
