Santa Claus is inviting area children to Iola’s courthouse square Thursday between 5 and 7 p.m.
Old Saint Nick, currently on the road promoting Christmas, met with the Register in a back booth at A&W Restaurant on Tuesday. He spoke expectantly about the kids he’ll meet this week at the Toy Shop, but, he admitted, he misses the North Pole and he’s itching to take the sleigh out for another spin. At the end of the interview, Santa, who’s been on the road — and away from Mrs. Claus — for many weeks now, held one of the diner’s glass salt shakers in his hand. He peered closely at the grains before returning it to the table: “Reminds me of the North Pole.”
Hello, Santa Claus.
Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Hi.
Given population figures, Santa, here pretty soon you’ll be eating more than 6 million cookies in one night. Could you tell Register readers your favorite kind?
Chocolate chip.
What if children aren’t able to leave cookies and milk? Does Santa have another favorite snack?
Graham crackers and frosting. But anything will do. Or nothing is OK, too.
How do you feel after such a long night of delivering packages? As you’re pulling the sleigh into the garage after another successful Christmas? You must be exhausted. Sore back, blisters?
Not at all. I just feel happy. Really happy. I know the kids are going to be joyful when they wake up. A smile on their faces is all I want.
That’s noble, Santa. But, really, once you’re home and you’ve kicked off your boots and kissed Mrs. Claus, how does a man of your temper relax after such a grueling flight?
Well, first I have a big glass of milk…
More milk!
More milk. And then I like to sit by the fire.
Getting back to the night before Christmas, I’ve always wondered — how does Santa leave presents for the boy or girl whose home has no chimney? Kids in trailers, for example? Or children living in shelters?
Santa will find them — he always does — wherever they live. I can use a window sometimes.
Is it true that, on that night, you receive special dispensation from law enforcement to enter any home under the cloak of darkness — and by any means available — and that you are the only holder of such a pass?
What?
Nothing. Anyway, I hope this isn’t rude, but I am noticing some gray in your beard. Can I ask how old you are?
Honestly, I’ve forgotten. I’ve been doing this thing forever.
And how long will you keep it up?
As long as I can. As long as they believe.
From your perch way up in the North Pole, how can you know for sure which children are naughty and which are nice?
That’s what the elves are for. (Editors note: The Clauses “employ” thousands of indentured helpers each year — the couple insists it’s the only way to get Operation Xmas turned around in time. These helpers, often very small, are known as “elves.”) See, the elves help me keep watch.
Other than Christmas, what’s your favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving. It gets me plump for the season.
OK, you brought it up…. Listen, a strict milk-and-cookie diet is a real nightmare on your waistline. Is there exercise equipment at the North Pole? Or a nearby gym?
There is, but I don’t use it very often. Santa doesn’t want to lose his figure; he’s Santa.
How do you spend your off-season, Claus?
Thinking of faster routes for my sleigh.
