This is a follow-up story to “Pushing Past the Pain” published March 21. Tracy Keagle, recognized for her humanitarian efforts, was the focus of a Huffington Post blog written in 2016 by Sara Stewart. Keagle’s success as founder of Humanity House Foundation is a celebration of her ability to overcome childhood sexual abuse. Keagle is not alone. One of out of three girls and one out of seven boys are sexually abused by the time they reach the age of 18, according to Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, authors of “The Courage to Heal,” and “Beginning to Heal.”
“Childhood sexual abuse is a lot more prevalent in our little community than people realize,” Hope Unlimited’s Child Advocacy Center Coordinator, Donita Garner, said. “The Child Advocacy Center served over 55 kids last year. I think people would never expect that there is so much of it and it’s underreported.”
A lot of kids are afraid to come forward until they are adults because of the stigma attached to sexual abuse, she said.
In 2003, Susan H. Lewis wrote “Unspoken Crimes: Sexual Assault in Rural America,” a publication of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
“Non-reporting in rural areas is typically more of a problem because of the high rate of non-stranger sexual assault,” according to Lewis. “Victims will have little anonymity because rural areas have low population density and high levels of familiarity.”
In rural areas there is often a strong tendency to value family reputation over personal justice or personal safety, she said.
“Rural areas often have unwritten cultural rules that dictate secrecy of personal problems,” according to Lewis.
Hope Unlimited Inc.’s, Sexual Assault Advocate, Lisa Chauncey, said there is often a grooming process that takes place.
An offender typically puts the responsibility on what happened on the child, and makes them feel like they are a bad person or wanted it to happen. Sometimes offenders threaten the child, Chauncey said.
“That’s a lot for a child to carry around,” she said.
SOMETIMES offenders confuse children because they put the abuse in the context of a game.
“Then they start to doubt their own perceptions,” she said. ‘“Well I thought it was OK but it’s not OK and now they are telling me I caused it.”’
Chronic sexual abuse over a long period of time can seem like a normal occurrence to some children, according to Garner. Oftentimes children grow up not knowing how to operate outside of an abusive relationship. Adults who are victimized as children tend to find themselves victimized again years later. Garner worked with adult victims of domestic violence seeking services from Hope Unlimited and administered an informal-intake survey.
“One of the questions on our survey was, ‘were you a victim of childhood sexual abuse?’ and over 70 percent said ‘yes,” she said.
Garner said both sexual and physical abuses play a large part in how people develop into adults.
“Your self-esteem and what you think you deserve in life,” (are affected) she said.
That can cause a lifetime of havoc that can be passed down through generations and affect more than just the victim. The long term effects of child sexual abuse can be so rife that it’s sometimes hard to pinpoint them. The effects permeate the victim’s self-perception, intimate relationships, sexuality, parenting, employment and mental health, according to Bass and Davis. Therapy is a crucial part of the healing process.
“Many survivors stay so busy in order to cope that they do not take the time to reflect on how they are hurting,” the authors said.
That is why the Child Advocacy Center works with abused children to address the trauma early.
“How can you interrupt that cycle?” Garner said.
SEX IN any type of relationship during any point in life is considered to be sexual assault when there is no consent, Chauncey said.
“There are all different kinds of levels,” she said. “ It could be unwanted touching it could be all different things leading up to and including forcible rape, but if you read the statute it basically states that it is without consent or that the person is underage or under the influence or they are mentally not able to give consent.”
Children can be unsure if they have the right to say no when the offender is a person who has authority over the child, Chauncey said. It is important to teach children early-on to have autonomy. Having conversations with children about trusting their instincts is important.
“I think that everybody has those instincts, it’s just as a parent asking those questions ‘oh
so-and-so makes you uncomfortable why is that?’” Garner said.
When both parents work or if a person is a single parent it is harder to devote time and detect signs that a child may be exhibiting that indicate something is wrong.
“It is just being aware of the people that have access to your child,” Garner said. “Also talking to your kids about safety factors.”
Parents should tune into any adult who has a sudden inordinate interest in a child, according to Chauncey.
“Yes, your child can go have ice cream, but someone else needs to go too,” she said.
Stomachaches, bleeding, bruises, problems with toileting, acting out sexually, anxiety, new knowledge of sexual acts and a sudden change in personality can be signs that a child is experiencing abuse.
“Just not acting like themselves,” Chauncey said.
Hope Unlimited works with victims to re-establish boundaries, develop coping skills and on reducing the trauma, Garner said.
“So they can go ahead and have a healthy relationship down the line,” she said.
It is important to listen to a child when they make a complaint of sexual abuse. If their complaint is dismissed it can cause the child to never disclose that information again, Garner said.
“That’s why when a child discloses, number one you believe them, and number two you respond accordingly,” Garner said. “Kids need to feel like they are believed because that impacts so much of their long-term self-worth, and they need to feel like they are valued.”
ADULT victims of childhood abuse benefit from talking about their experiences.
“Telling is transformative. When you let someone know what you have lived through and that person hears you with respect and genuine caring, you begin a process of change essential to healing,” Bass and David said.
When a child from any of the surrounding areas makes a report, typically the Department of Child Services and law enforcement take the report and do the interview at the Child Advocacy Center.
“Because we can record it and the child does not have to be interviewed more than one time,” Garner said. “The idea is that it is not re-traumatizing the child because they are not going to have to go to the police station and talk. They are not going to have to go to DCS and have that conversation or the prosecutor’s office. They can have that conversation one time right here.”
After the initial interview a multi-disciplinary team responds to help coordinate and ensure that the victim is connected to resources.
“It’s a one-stop shop basically,” Garner said.
As parents and children are becoming more educated, more instances of sexual abuse are being reported than in past decades, Garner said. Stiffer penalties for sexual abuse offenders are having an impact.
“As more people are being more open about it, more kids report,” she said.
