As an adolescent, Kurt Jackson was hurting. His high school years had been ravaged by traumas he was not equipped to process.
In the span of several years, he lost a brother to suicide, his parents divorced and his father, an extreme diabetic, began to drink himself into a stupor. Kurt’s young life — one where he was supposed to be carefree and happy — was a raw mess of pain.
But, Kurt says, you wouldn’t have known it at the time. He hid his agony well, turning to alcohol, the preferred poison of both his brother and father. “People would see me drinking, but they didn’t see why,” Kurt says. Sure, he was at all the parties, laughing and pretending to have a great time with his crew. But, he reflects, “I was drinking to cope with things. And I didn’t even know anything was wrong. I thought this was normal.”
It wasn’t until years later that Kurt saw something had to change. “I realized that if I continued on this path, I was going to end up just like my brother,” Kurt remarked. “I realized I was going to end up just like my dad.” Instead of wasting any more time, he began to ask himself a new, urgent question: “How can I turn this around?”
YEARS LATER, Kurt Jackson is now a youth motivational speaker and life coach based in Yates Center. His ability to connect to his audiences often springs from his own past experiences and struggles.
It was no easy road to recovery and physical and mental health. “Everyone wants the five-step process to better mental health. Everyone wants to see the highlight reel,” he says.
There’s no such thing. Instead, Kurt’s waking hours are now defined by a mission to, as he describes it, add daily value to his life. It starts, Kurt insists, on believing that one’s present circumstances can actually change for the better.
“It’s hard to get some kids and adults to believe that their life can be anything but bad,” he explains. “It comes down to believing that your life can get better. It’s hard for some people because all they can focus on is five feet in front of their face. They think their life is always going to be this way.”
For Kurt, consistency, daily habits and routines have paved the way to wellness. He wakes up each morning to take a 2.5-mile jog, followed by a morning meditation, prayer and breathing exercises. He ends his day with a similar routine: intentionally focusing on the blessings each day has offered.
His work with young people is particularly rewarding. In Kurt’s eyes, it’s awfully hard to be a teenager right now. He explains, “Social media has a lot to do with it. They feed into what they see every week, especially now as they’re stuck at home on their phones and computers. And adults do this too. We live in a world where we see everyone’s perfect life on social media, but we don’t see what’s behind closed doors.”
Young men present a distinct challenge. Popular culture still tells young men they should never express vulnerability. Kurt remembers hearing, “Guys don’t cry. We don’t show our emotions. My dad had a saying: ‘Rub it in the dugout.’
“I’ll go to schools and I can’t pick out who’s struggling with mental health. They’re so good at hiding it.” He continues, “I have a ton of messages from guys who are struggling with mental health but are worried about speaking about it because they’re worried about what their friends may think.”
In spite of the obstacles, Kurt works to instill a message of hope. His own life shows him no cause should ever be declared lost. It’s never too late to make a change. Even in the midst of a pandemic, an economy in shambles and social distancing that’s forced us all to make huge changes to our lives, he insists we must never sacrifice the control we have over our lives.
“We can’t always control our situation, but we can control how we choose to live our day. I can control my next step,” he remarks. “We can’t control everything we see, but we can choose to not feed into the fears around us. I can get up and go for a walk. I can choose to play with my kids. I can focus on the things that add value to myself rather than feed into the negative thoughts and emotions that are swirling around us right now.”
And to those who don’t believe their lives can or will get any better, his message is shockingly simple: they’re right. He explains: “It starts with the belief. You have to believe your life can get better. Otherwise it won’t.”
