As a young student, Amber Jewell held on to Fridays because that was the day school cooks distributed extra biscuits at lunch.
“I was always so hungry and that gesture really impacted me as an act of kindness,” she said.
Jewell refers to such acts as “pebbles” that everyone carries in their pockets.
The more you gather, the better you are able to weather life’s challenges.
“At the time, I didn’t understand why my life was the way it was. What pulled me through were little acts of kindness. It gave me just enough hope to want to see tomorrow.”
AS A FOSTER child and survivor of child abuse, Jewell grew up disadvantaged. Today, she is a licensed social worker for Le Roy-Gridley schools as well as an author and motivational speaker. Her new book, “Finding Hope,” deals with developing coping skills.
Jewell is a featured speaker at Saturday’s “13 Reasons to Fly SEK,” at the Bowlus Fine Arts Center.
As a professional counselor, Jewell said children, especially, are easily influenced by the actions of others.
“Simple smiles. Acts of gratitude. Being a welcoming presence at the start of the day, all tell children that they are valued. These are the ‘pebbles’ that they carry with them throughout life, instilling in them they have worth.”
Because Jewell’s early years were affected by mental illness, her support system was lacking.
“I was good academically, but that success was hollow,” she said. “There’s a big difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Our accomplishments may boost our self-esteem. But it’s a long road to discovering from the inside-out that who you really are can be quite separate from what you project to others.”
Unfortunately, children don’t have the advantage of time to learn from their pasts.
“It’s a step-by-step process. But even children have the power to decide if they want to hold onto a memory or let it go. The more decisions we can make, the more we can direct our lives,” Jewell said.
“Again, it’s not necessarily what happens to us, but how we choose to respond to it.”
The urgency to want to “fix” people is misguided. Instead, Jewell recommends that children be taught to accept that life is going to have its challenges and that through perseverance can emerge stronger.
