Instead of relief, Taylor Hirth felt sick when she learned the men who raped her had been arrested.
She knew there was only one way theyd be caught: If they raped again.
My worst fear had manifested itself in a way I could have predicted, in a far more twisted way than I could have imagined, Hirth told a small group of women and men during a speech Wednesday at Allen Community College, sponsored by Hope Unlimited as part of Sexual Assault Awareness month.
Two men were arrested in October 2016 for the rape of a Johnson County sheriffs deputy, a woman theyd taken across state lines and raped repeatedly. The story made national news.
But six months earlier, when a group of men broke into Hirths apartment and raped her over and over again in front of her 2-year-old daughter, there was no press conference. She struggled to convince investigators to take her seriously, to believe something terrible had happened to her at all. But after the deputys rape, the DNA of one of the men matched the DNA found in Hirths rape kit. Both men eventually were charged in her assault.
My faith in the police department had been shattered and here they were patting themselves on the back, she recalled watching the press conference in the deputys case.
Her rape was the kind people were supposed to believe.
My rape was the mythical, cinematic rape that everybody thinks of when they think of rape. Strangers violently breaking down doors, forcing themselves on their victims, Hirth said. They made it clear they didnt believe this one, either.
When she was attacked on Feb. 9, 2016, Hirth tried to stay calm. She used her experience as an advocate for victims of domestic violence and rape to be deliberate in her interactions with her rapists, even joking with them so they would let their guard down and make a mistake. She stayed calm for her daughters sake, hoping the men wouldnt frighten the toddler or worse. After the men left, she was afraid they were waiting and watching so she used social media to ask a friend to call police and posted about the attack on Facebook.
This began as a somewhat private post but I want everyone I care about to know whats going on, she wrote. Tonight a group of men busted down my door and raped me while my daughter was in bed next to me. The police are on their way but Im going to need lots of support for the next I dont know how long.
She felt comforted that police would soon arrive. She felt confident she hadnt done any of the things that typically cause people to doubt victims.
They were coming and they were going to help me and I would feel safe again.
She was wrong.
LONG BEFORE the attack, Hirth learned men felt entitled to her body. Her first boyfriend, when she was 16, pushed beyond her boundaries. When she was 20, she reluctantly gave into the sexual demands of another boyfriend just so she could leave without causing a scene. At 24, a barista she had a crush on forced himself on her during their first date. When she was 26, she got drunk at a party and woke up to find someone having sex with her. She never reported any of those incidents.
Like millions of women, I told friends about what happened but nobody ever called it rape or seemed that upset about it, she said. We were already conditioned to accept it. As society reminded me, I put myself in those positions.
