Tracy Keagle
Being poor is confusing. It is confusing for those who live in poverty and confusing for those who watch people living in poverty. When we see someone who is obviously poor making a decision that makes no sense to us, we question their thinking. We question their desire to not be poor, their work ethic, their education, and lots of other things. With the questioning also comes judgement.
Judgement does two things that are the exact opposite of kindness. It hurts the person that you are judging, and it hurts you. It makes you feel angry, upset, underappreciated, and overworked. It makes you angry because the other person, who is obviously poor, is irresponsible. And then you carry that anger with you. The person who is poor feels your judgement. They are aware of what they are doing and understand their own reasoning, but feel and sometimes hear your judgement. This makes them feel worthless, stressed and alone.
Now imagine this. You work hard and so does your spouse. So you decide to take your family on a weeklong vacation to somewhere fun. You post photos of your family enjoying a boat ride, or eating nice dinners out, and you are happy. Realize that the people in the financial class above you are probably judging you for taking that vacation instead of investing the money for your retirement. They probably think you are irresponsible to have a mortgage payment due, that you might pay a week past due just so you could take your family on a one-week vacation. They are questioning your thought processes, your ability to handle your finances, your understanding of money, and they probably feel like you should do better.
How does that judgement sit with you?
Now, how about this. The upper middle-class person has a family member in the hospital. But they have important meetings and other things already scheduled, so once they ascertain that their family member is in good hands, they go about their business and make plans to check in when they have a cleared space in their schedule.
Guess whos judging them? Poor people.
They wonder what is wrong with a person who would not leave a meeting to go check on grandma at the hospital. They question the heart of the person who would not drop everything to personally make sure that their loved one is well taken care of. They judge what kind of upbringing you had that made you so uncaring. They wonder why your money would come before family.
There are truths to the circle of class that cannot be denied. But through understanding them, we can see others living in our community as friends and neighbors, dropping judgement and replacing it with understanding, which leads to a happier life for everyone. And we are all just walking each other home. Learn to do it with kindness.
The Humanity House Bridges Out of Poverty is a great way to begin to open yourself up to having empathy and understanding of yourself and others.
The class is free and open to the public and takes place at our new building at 110 East St. from 9 a.m. to noon on Saturday, May 12.
Please mark your calendars, take the class and prepare yourself for the beginning of a happier life.
Kindness matters!
