At a time when most folks their age are well on their way to slowing down, Tim and Teresa Henry’s schedules remain as hectic as ever. TIM RECOGNIZES his and Teresa’s parenting styles have changed through the years.
But it’s not just from work, even though the Henrys own Twin Motors Ford, one of the largest Ford dealerships in eastern Kansas.
Instead, the Henrys also dedicate blocks of time for assorted activities for 9-year-old Destiny, their granddaughter whom they have raised since she was an infant.
“You definitely have to have the ability to get up and go,” Tim said. “She has all kinds of things going on.”
The Henrys, rural LaHarpe, are part of a growing segment of today’s U.S. population, in which children live in households headed by somebody other than their parent.
The U.S. Census Bureau reported as many as 4.9 million children nationwide live in grandparent-headed households in 2010, up nearly 9 percent from figures gleaned from 10 years prior.
“A lot of it boiled down to love,” Tim said. “And this was the right thing to do.”
Tim and Teresa took custody of Destiny when she was about eight months old when her mother became entangled with drugs.
“I’d guess a large number of grandparents wind up with kids that way,” Tim said. “Drugs are nasty, nasty stuff, and it’s hard to let go.”
In this case, the drugs maintained their steely grip, to the point Tim and Teresa were given an option about 16 months later.
“Destiny’s case had worked its way through the court system, and we were given an option — either take permanent custody or give her up for adoption,” Teresa said.
By then, the precocious Destiny had nestled her way into their hearts.
“It took a few days to decide, though,” Tim recalled. “Did we want to go through all that again?”
The Henrys had five children of their own. Each had two children from prior marriages; and Seth, about 17 years older than Destiny.
“Seth was a junior in high school at the time,” Tim said. “It was going to be like starting over.”
“But we had fallen in love with Destiny,” Teresa added. “It wasn’t really a hard choice.”
Life at the Henry household is predictably busy. In addition to work and farm duties — they live on a farmstead on the west edge of LaHarpe — either Tim or Teresa usually dedicate hours of their evenings and weekends toting Destiny to basketball games, school activities or rodeos (see related story on page B1).
“Destiny likes school, but I think a lot of it is because of the social aspect,” Teresa said. “Without any brothers or sisters living here, she loves doing things with her friends.”
Destiny’s mother also is a part of the Henrys’ lives.
“When you’re young, you’re so wrapped up in getting your career going, and getting a home and making money, it can be a chore raising children,” Tim said. “You definitely feel the pressure.”
But with an established business already humming along, both Tim and Teresa have learned to dedicate more time to family.
“I know I spend more time with Destiny than I ever did with my other children,” Tim said. “I get to enjoy her in ways I never did the other kids.”
Destiny is one of the Henrys’ 11 grandchildren.
Decision to adopt: ‘Boiled down to love’
