By the time Alberta McCrate became a resident of Moran Manor, the move to the nursing home was no different from living at home. It was as unfamiliar.
McCrate suffered from the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. She died in 2005 at age 81.
A former nurse, McCrate sometimes thought she was reporting for work with the move to the Manor. She would frequently appear at its nursing station ready to help.
These remembrances now bring slight chuckles to her descendants, who gathered Saturday morning for the annual Alzheimer’s Memory Walk around the courthouse square.
But not far away are the uncomfortable memories of a mother and grandmother “who we lost years before she died,” said her daughter, Nancy Maier. These are memories of a once-meticulous woman who “let herself go,” said granddaughter Samantha Raines, 29. She stopped going to have her hair done at the beauty shop, stopped dressing in coordinated outfits or wearing any makeup.
Always busy and on her feet, Alberta slowed down considerably, letting others assume her usual duties.
She became disconnected from conversations, often found staring into space.
“She’d say the same things, over and over,” her grandchildren Sean, 32, and Sarah Maier, 30, said. No matter the conversation, Alberta would say one of three things: “I love you, thank you,” and “we’re so proud of you.”
The grandchildren would often receive the same gifts, year after year. Miniature antique cars, “by the dozens” seemed to be a favorite, they said.
That’s harmless enough. But the thousands of dollars she was lured into spending on Reader’s Digest promotions, was “criminal,” Samantha said. “I think there should be some kind of law where old people can’t be preyed on like that.”
People who suffer from dementia such as Alzheimer’s can’t remember one phone conversation to the next, said Nancy, also a nurse.
“My mother wouldn’t hurt a flea,” she said. “In an effort to please, she’d just say yes to every salesman on the phone.”
McCrate’s condition continued to worsen to the point that her husband, Bud, could not manage her care, Nancy said.
“By then she didn’t really recognize who we were,” she said. “But she could compensate really well. She may not have been able to say exactly who my dad was, but she knew that he was a nice man and enjoyed his company.”
Bud McCrate, 86, visited his wife of 56 years every day she was at Moran Manor, his daughter said, and knew how to please her.
“He’d take her for drives and play music that they’d enjoyed. She couldn’t talk, but as she rode along she’d gently pat her leg to the rhythm of the music. That’s all Dad needed,” Nancy said.
Depression can often go hand in hand with Alzheimer’s, Nancy said.
“My mother got so frustrated that she couldn’t remember things. There’s a natural kind of paranoia, a sense of losing it, that makes victims want to withdraw.”
In McCrate’s case, it wasn’t unusual that she’d spend hours alone in one room. “I think she also just lost track of time,” Nancy said.
Alzheimer’s can take a long time to recognize. Typically, the disease takes seven to 10 years before its full-blown, Nancy said.
Experts now believe “exercising” the brain is one way to ward off dementia.
“It’s good to try new things to stimulate different parts of the brain,” she said, such as ballroom dancing, word and number puzzles or learning a new language.
“Research also shows that the higher the education, the less likely people are to get Alzheimer’s,” she said.
SATURDAY’S WALK involved 140 walkers and raised about $13,000. The funds stay within the chapter service area which includes 66 chapters across Kansas and Missouri. The funds go toward support groups, educational programs and counseling for families as well as for such things as transportation and the purchase of personal items.
