Dear Carolyn: My wife is 26 and says she’s ready to have a baby, but I think she’s too young and we should wait. I know on paper the timing looks right. We both have good, stable jobs and good health insurance and financially a baby is doable, but I think it is the wrong decision for other reasons.
I think my wife underestimates how much work and drudgery it’s going to be and may someday look back and regret having kids so young and wish we’d waited a few more years. I’m 33 and couldn’t imagine having kids when I was 26. It would have been awful since it would have meant the end of my leisure.
I say you have such a short time to be young and carefree and you have forever to be tied down — why rush it? We have plenty of time to have kids. We’ve only been married for two years, so there’s nothing wrong, in my mind, with her enjoying the next couple of years carefree and then having a baby once she’s closer to 30 and her friends have started settling down and starting families. Then she’ll have company and won’t feel so isolated.
She thinks that I am infantilizing her by assuming she misunderstands the difficulties and how much of a sacrifice it will require, but I don’t see it that way. I just want her to enjoy this time we have when we’re DINKs so that she doesn’t have regrets later in life.
I am only trying to look out for her best interests.
Am I wrong to believe she’s making this decision without considering what she’d be giving up?
— Baby Rabies
Baby Rabies: Mark the time, 12:59. I am officially freaking bald.
You are totally infantilizing her! Sweet cheeses.
“I THINK my wife underestimates”;
You THINK she may “look back and regret”;
“There’s nothing wrong, in my mind, with her enjoying the next couple of years”;
You SAY “she won’t feel so isolated”;
You “BELIEVE she’s making this decision without considering”;
“I think she’s too young”;
