Dear Carolyn: You sometimes advise people to get screened for depression or ADHD based on things like procrastinating, forgetting things, failing to follow through, etc. How do you determine when to look for a diagnosis, and when someone is just lazy, inconsiderate, has bad habits, etc., and wants to co-opt legitimate diagnoses as an excuse? Anonymous
Character. It shows itself in so many ways that its always available to arbitrate.
To use your example: Youre not sure whether someones failing to follow through is a matter of disability or choice. So, look to expressions of character that arent about productivity. Is this person honest? Kind to those with less power, like children, pets, service staff, the needy or infirm? Does this person ask questions? Listen carefully? Feel empathy? Remain open to different views?
Its also a sign of character not to point fingers unless and until every compassionate options ruled out. Ideally not even then.
