Dear Carolyn: My parents, married for 30 years and now divorced for 15, last saw each other intentionally at my wedding 14 years ago.
They still live in the same town, and ran into each other at the theater several years back. Whereupon, from both accounts, my dad willfully ignored my mom in the lobby as she tried to greet him. His version is that he will not be berated into talking to her. And he hasn’t!
I’ve accepted this and see it as generally out of my control. While the fact that my brother and I are geographically dispersed also heavily contributes, my parents have never shared a holiday, grandchild event, etc. My dad is a hard person to be emotionally close to, but he does try in his way to be a parent and grandparent. My mom has a much stronger relationship with her kids and grandkids.
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