Hi, Carolyn: My son is 7 and still believes in Santa, that Santa makes toys in his workshop, all of it. He asked Santa for a hoverboard, an iPhone and a $200 robot. I simply cannot afford these things, and he wouldnt get a phone at his age anyway. Hell be getting plenty of other gifts from Santa, me and relatives, but Im already heartbroken at the thought of his disappointment on Christmas morning when he sees he didnt get what he asked for. Is there a way to handle this without ruining the Santa fantasy? - Not Santa
Answer: Seems to me the Santa fantasy has ruined the Santa fantasy, and so its hard to see a good reason to keep it going.
Its too late to change this year, but you can pre-empt next years Santa disappointments by starting the de-Santafication process now. Be a little less awesome at maintaining the facade and use the same wrapping paper and handwriting for your gifts from Santa and from you. Letting him piece it together himself is so much better than what would effectively be a JK! We yanked your chain for years.
You can ease the hard feelings this epiphany might bring by treating him as if hes in on it now: Remind him not everyone is as grown up as he is (see?), and so he needs to watch what he says around little kids.
That is the biggest of the Santa bummers: instilling the myth, aka lie, is easy and fun, but few people warn you to think through the endgame first.
As for this year, you have a couple of options: Explain that Santa does what he can, and its not always what we want (so much truth to that); or get creative; or pool your buying power with relatives to buy one wish-list item (signed with real names); or say you heard from Santa that he cant bring these and is there something else hed like?
But I say all this knowing these fantasy holidays have disappointment built in, at least until were old enough not to need everything to be perfect — and your son is years away from that.
He asked for real things, yes, but it could just as well have been a unicorn on his wish list. Theres no fixing that except by having Santa be the agent of no, and it happens eventually to every kid. With the possible exception of kids whose asks are reasonable (perhaps they are the unicorns?) or whose extravagant wishes are all met and thats even worse for them in the long run than Santas kick to the shins.
